Families in denial.

• Families in denial about the decline in health of their elderly parents is very common but a worrying problem.

• I see this so much in my medical practice.

• Denial about dementia is the commonest form of denial.

• Blaming “old age” and “ageing” for cognitive and functional decline is just plain wrong and not science, yet most families do it and believe it!

• Denial of dementia and cognitive decline in elderly parents just denies them an early diagnosis and proper medical care.

• Denial increases the risk of a medical crisis and preventable public hospital emergency department presentation.

• Some of the typical denial behaviours from families include-

  • The patient’s son or daughter are commonly very defensive and protective of their loved one during memory and cognitive testing by the Doctor.  Therefore, they try to answer the questions for the patient.

  • Commonly sons or daughters will really compensate heavily for their elderly parents’ deteriorating cognitive function.  They will say things like-

    ·       “you have come on too strong” when I have asked the person where they live or

    ·       “she wasn’t prepared for that” when I asked the person what year it was or

    ·       “she has had a busy day and is tired” when I have asked for their formal home address.

    ·       Mum is always worse and more confused in the afternoon.

  • The son and daughter will also make a patronising or condescending comment such as-

    ·       “I couldn’t answer that question myself” which is who the Prime Minister is or what year it is, to try and placate and reassure their elderly relative and to emphasise in their mind that it is okay to be forgetful when you are old, which it is NOT!!

  • You’ve got to be kidding me! These relatives are highly functioning younger people operating businesses, driving cars, using computers, tablets and performing complex tasks on mobile phones, but they are not being honest when they say they don’t know what year it is and who the Prime Minister is.

  • The human brain has more than a trillion nerve connections!

  • So with so much brain power and memory reserve, there must be an almighty hit on brain function when someone starts forgetting simple things even with early mild Alzheimer’s dementia. Even “mild” Alzheimer’s dementia means that there is quite significant underlying brain disease to cause just mild memory impairment.

For more information read Dr Peter Lipski’s book “Your Elderly Parents Failing Health. Is It Ageing Or A Treatable Condition”.